yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize