My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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