So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
