The maid of honor just puked.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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