just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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