you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
