My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This baby is an asshole
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
