You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are all done wearing pants today
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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