ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
