Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
