Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
