she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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