Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize