They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
