Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
