I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
