Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
