She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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