i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize