It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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