he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
