I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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