Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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