My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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