so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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