How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
