I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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