We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
