We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
