I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Houston, we have a blender
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
