why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
