Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
