Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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