she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
