I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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