need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
