There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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