Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
