Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize