She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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