I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
