you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
