chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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