What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
