Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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