Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
