But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
