i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
