You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
