The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
