girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
