just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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