Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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