my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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