Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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