How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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