I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize