Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
