Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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