I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Randomize
