Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
