I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
