just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
