what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
